You are here

Women's friendships forge special bond

Men, I love you, but you might think I'm being sexist when I say I believe men's friendships have completely different dynamics than women's do.

From my female outsider's perspective, I have seen a few exceptions. I can think of maybe three male/male friendships that seem like ones that women share. You know, it's the one where you always see the two guys together at lunch or around town. Maybe they vacation together, with or without their families. Those guys are the lucky ones.

Most men I know just don't take their friendships as far as they could. Guys get caught up in their jobs and their roles as husband and father; then when they have spare time they want to be home, knocking around with chores or maybe a hobby. Maybe they get too caught up in being a guy and aren't as great at communication and intimacy. They're just not as social as we are.

But we girls have got it going on when it comes to friends.

As a kid, we were too mobile and I was too naive and ignorant to nurture long-lasting friendships, but in my adult life I have been lucky. You know what helps? Kids. My kids have walked me into so many deep and rich friendships it almost makes me want to have another one.


Anyway, over the years there have been some great times. There were all-girl camping trips, though we gave them up fairly quickly because only two of us were doing the work while the others were more focused on perfecting their beer-drinking skills. There were Easter egg hunts and Dallas Christmas shopping trips, Super Bowl parties with wardrobe malfunctions, bobcat-freeing schemes, days at the lake, karaoke parties and many, many hours over dinner.

The husbands always wondered how we could spend six hours on dinner.

When we sang, our karaoke name was The Sistahs. When we had parties with kids, the older girls were the Little Sistahs and the younger ones were the Baby Sistahs. I'm sorry, but that seemed pretty dang cute at the time.

There was a cracked Rolex that happened when we were goofing around banging on the shared hotel wall, an elephant clock birthday gift given simply for the sake of reciprocating a crappy gift, concerts where a friend jumped on the hotel bed and scraped her knuckles on the ceiling, and another when we were supposed to telepathically know when our friend needed to pee but we didn't, so we left her. A broken tooth, more than a few rowdy confrontations, a few regrets, but mostly fun  and always, always laughter.

While we did the girl thing and occasionally talked makeup and laundry, we always talked about the kids, and we always talked about the men in our lives. And secrets? Oh, yeah. There are things those girls have told me I will take to my grave.

We used to laugh because after a few hours together we'd notice that we were using the same makeup or wearing the same shoes or even the same bra. Before we knew it, we'd discover we were driving a similar car. Two of my friends chose the same career path.

To say we have influenced one another is an understatement. It is a blessing to say that it was for the better.

Now one of us is gone, but those memories will last a lifetime, God willing.

Those kids come and go, and sometimes husbands do the same. Whether you're a man or a woman, we all need a best friend.

The Lawton Constitution

102 SW 3rd, Lawton, OK 73501
Classifieds: (580) 357-9545
Circulation: (580) 353-6397
Switchboard: (580) 353-0620